Some days I feel like I am sinking. I can a feel a fight coming from deep inside that says, “No! This is ME!” I have put so much time and energy into finding and learning to love myself. Allowing myself the time to find me. Giving myself room to experiment. Knowing that all along the way it is simply O.K because once something gloriously tragic happens to you, you find yourself with the opportunity to be unabashedly yourself.
“It takes courage to grow up to become who you really are” – E.E. Cummings
So here I am in my little corner of the internet. Refusing to apologize. Refusing to calculate your reaction or attempt to make your feel comfortable. I have spent too much of my life buffering situations. Buffering people and lovers and interactions. I am finally to a point where I reserve my talent to ‘buffer’. No longer do I feel the need to fix. Rather I am learning the value in just letting it be. Even when that comes with some uneasiness or uncomfortable air.
I have learned that you have to teach people how to treat you and that you can help shape their expectations. I want everyone to know that though their opinions are valuable (to someone, somewhere) they have little to do with how I look. I want everyone to know that I will continue to show them love and acceptance. SWIA is not a place of judgement or a place you will be told what to do. We are here to aide you in your journey of the great experiment. The experiment of finding yourself deep inside that pile of dirty laundry. (Cue Don Henley)
WE DO NOT PUT PLASTIC ON THE COUCH> WE LIGHT THE COUCH ON FIRE.
You may or may not have collected the weddings are a pretty loaded topic for me. Coming out of an abusive marriage and being a full time wedding photographer weddings bring up all sorts of emotions. For the first time in a while I had the pleasure of going to my friends Julie and Michael’s wedding on National Hangover Day. It was so wonderful to actually enjoy the ceremony, to participate as a witness rather than as the photographer.Since I wasn’t shooting I wasn’t stuck in my supportive, quiet flats or stiff dress pants. Rather I celebrated from the inside out with a new dress and epic necklace.
My sweet roommate and dear friend Corey joined us for our little pre-reception photo shoot!
Fight the good fight. Allow yourself the time and space and grace to become unabashedly you.
The way I see it there is no time for the alternative.